


Helen's Revenge

by thedevilyousay



Series: Derek vs. Helen [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, dirty old marrieds, so much fluff omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 20:26:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3909466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilyousay/pseuds/thedevilyousay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen gets her revenge after Derek flipped her brownies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helen's Revenge

“Dad?”

Stiles doesn’t register the question in his son’s voice over the amount of focus he’s putting into staying concealed. From his hiding place behind several oak trees, he can hear his comrades falling one by one but they only _need_ one portion of the team to survive to make it to the next round. He's thankful for their sacrifice. 

“Dad!” 

“SHHHH! Are you trying to get us killed??” He whispers harshly in answer, pulling his son down into a crouch in front of him. Damien rolls his eyes in response, looking so much like Stiles for a second that Stiles can hear the faint, taunting laughter of his father in his head, an omen of “worse than you” overtaking him like a dark cloud. Stiles resists the childish urge to roll his own eyes back. 

“There’s only five teams left and only four will continue past this round. We just need to survive the next few minutes, Damien.” Stiles clutches his last remaining water balloons to his chest and tries to decide if it’s worth a peek around the tree he’s using as a shield. He hears another shriek that sounds a lot like Margaret Neil and he knows for sure that him and his son are all that remains of Team Black. 

“I was just trying to tell…” Damien starts again but is cut off by a snapping twig to their immediate left. With the speed gifted to him by his other father, he’s flinging a balloon directly at Patrick Brewer’s chest before the other boy even has his arm drawn back for his throw. Pansey, his mother, runs up behind him just in time to catch Stiles own attack to the face. 

Stiles leaps from his hiding place with a yell of delight. He resists the urge to laugh at the spluttering, soaked form of Pansey and settles for high fiving his son instead. “Great throw, Bat Brat! We made it!” Damien grins up at him proud, falling into their secret handshake with ease before hugging his dad a little too tightly. The Brewers are still huffing over being ousted, Pansey dragging her son back towards the rest of the festival in a tizzy. 

Stiles is watching them go, far too pleased with the outcome of events when there is a cry directly behind him proceeding the ice cold chill of a balloon bursting on his back. 

“Campers!” Scarlett screams, perched atop her Papa’s shoulders, another balloon being handed up to her by the smirking man. Stiles gasps and makes a move to shield Damien but his little wolf is too quick, launching another projectile at her brother before Stiles can reach him. 

“Not fair!” Damien cries, drenched with water now too as he heads directly for Derek’s legs in an attempt to tackle him to the ground. “Avenge me!” Stiles calls, falling dramatically to the ground and clutching at his chest with one hand, the other arm thrown over his face as he listens to the twins scuffle. Derek must have put Scarlett down after Damien’s failed attempts to topple him. 

It isn’t long before he feels a shadow fall over him and he peeks to see his husband standing above him with a wide grin. Stiles takes a moment to appreciate how handsome the other man is, all scruff and glasses and a sinfully tight white t-shirt that Stiles had plans for when this whole game started. Him, that white t-shirt, and a whole lot of water had a date and Stiles doesn’t like being stood up. 

“Am I to be your spoils of war?” he asks, reaching an arm out for Derek to pull him up with. The question makes Derek’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline before the grin still on his face turns just this edge of feral. 

“Mouthy thing like you? I’m afraid you wouldn’t go for much in auction.” Derek reaches down to pull him up, using more strength than necessary to haul Stiles up against his chest. “You look strong, though. I could probably find a use for you in my own home.” His eyes stray to Stiles mouth as he speaks, unconsciously licking his own lips as if a few uses have already occurred to him. 

“I suppose I can think of a worse fate.” Stiles sighs in response, one hand snaking up the side of Derek’s face and the other disappearing behind his back. Derek is leaning in to finish his thought when Stiles produces his last water balloon and smacks it into the side of Derek’s head, reeling back in laughter as his husband clutches at him in shock. Stiles has only a moment to appreciate the new and improved cling of the white t-shirt before Derek is generating his own water balloon and shoving it into the back of Stiles jeans. Stiles howls and tries to escape but Derek’s arms are like a vice as he laughs and nuzzles into the side of Stiles neck, unperturbed by his cold flailing. 

“Papa, eww! None of that! We have to go sign up for the next round! Team Red is still in!” Scarlett is tugging on Derek’s shirt impatiently from behind, prepared to try and drag him away if need be. Stiles finally calms down enough to quit squirming and enjoy the elevated body heat of his werewolf. He doesn’t want to let him go. “Release him, Daddy! There’s still the egg toss and the bake off! We have to win!” She’s given up on tugging and has moved into attempting to part them by shoving in-between them. 

“This is your monster. Look what you have wrought upon the world.” Derek grumbles, stealing a kiss before letting his daughter push him away. “My monster?? Oh no, buddy, that one is all yours.” Stiles can’t help but bite his lip in appreciation as he watches Derek haul their daughter back up onto one shoulder, biceps flexing beautifully under the weight as he turns to start back towards the crowds. 

“Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.” Stiles whispers, just loud enough that he knows Derek can hear him. The falter in Derek’s step makes him smile despite his daughter’s glare. He sticks his tongue out at her in a show of maturity. She has Derek’s dimples when she smiles back.

“Dad?” Stiles turns to find Damien still on the ground where Scarlett must have left him, soaking wet and face serious. “Do I still get cotton candy even though we didn’t make it to the next round?” Stiles smiles and ruffles his son’s hair once he helps him back up, making the boy twist away and hurriedly try to fix it, most of the gel he’d used to make it stick up like Derek’s having washed out in the fight. “Of course, Bat Brat. Let’s go grab some and then we can watch your papa and sister wipe the floor with the competition at the egg toss.” Damien excitedly takes off towards the booths making Stiles scramble to keep up.

+++++++

Stiles would feel bad for the other kids and parents who go up against his daughter and husband if he had it in him at all. Because really, the game is practically rigged. Between Werewolf reflexes and the patented Stilinski competitive streak, the other’s never stood a chance. But as Scarlett dives for the egg Derek tosses over his back without being able to look, Stiles feels not an ounce of remorse. Scarlett jumps to her feet excitedly showing the little white oval still intact to the judges while Helen Broom slings egg yolk every where from when it must have broke in her hands. She shoots a glare at Derek but he’s too busy to notice as he hauls Scarlett up into a hug and dances them around in victory. 

Stiles and Damien are still clapping and yelling when a familiar voice slides up on to the bleachers next to them. “Don’t you think it’s a little unfair for them to compete?”

“Aunt Lydia!” Damien cries, making Scarlett from across the field snap her head towards the stands in excitement. There’s a shuffle where he’s sure she’s demanding Derek put her down and then she’s running just below top speed to greet her aunt too. 

Lydia hugs them both to her while smiling, kissing the tops of their heads and uncaring that they’re getting her dirty. “How is my terrible twosome, hmm? Scarlett, I see you’re taking down the competition just like I taught you. Damien, did Stiles hold you back again? I’ve told you, you mustn’t let him keep you down in such things. Call me, I’ll be your partner.” Damien giggles but shakes his head, whispering something to Lydia that Stiles can’t hear. He huffs, annoyed at the implication it was his fault they lost. His plan had been foolproof until Derek had to go and ruin it. 

“Are you staying for the bake off, Aunt Lydia?” Scarlett asks, the hope in her voice strong. “Of course, little one. I wouldn’t miss it. Now run back to your dad, you don’t have long to prep.” Lydia hugs Scarlett once more before sending her bounding back towards Derek.

“Stiles! I just wanted to say- Oh. Lydia. Hello.” Pansey stops dead in her tracks, the pass she was about to make at Stiles undoubtedly forgotten in the face of her mortal enemy. 

“Pansey! Lovely to see you here. How’s your husband, Huntington? Did that rash ever clear up?” Stiles has to cover his mouth to stifle the laugh that threatens to erupt from him. Pansey turns a bright red and spins on her heel, not even attempting to answer. Lydia smiles smugly after her. 

“A rash?” Damien asks, wrinkling his nose. Lydia’s flash of widened eyes for just a second are Stiles only indication that she’d forgotten there were little ears around. 

“Not something you’ll ever have to worry about, love.” She recovers with. Stiles finally takes a seat next to the both of them, his legs tired from all of the running and cheering he’s done in the last few hours. Up on the stage set out on the field, Stiles can see the last few contestants waiting around for the festival volunteers to put the finishing touches on the annual Parent/Child bake off. Of all the little competitions that they’ve participated in throughout the day, Stiles knows this is the one Derek’s been most excited about. Ever since the PTA meeting a few months ago where he’d flipped a pan of Helen’s brownies, the antagonism between them has shot to new levels. And even though Scarlett and Helen’s daughter Ashley would be doing the actual baking, Stiles also knew that this would be some sort of deciding factor in the parent’s war. He just hoped it would be the end of it. 

It wasn’t long before the actual event took off, four children dashing around like they were in their own version of Hell’s Kitchen. The parents were only allowed to coach from the sideline and Stiles could see Derek walking Scarlett carefully through what were probably her favorite peanut butter brownies. With only an hour to bake, the clock was ticking down fast.

“So, Stiles, I hear you and Derek are quite the hit at all of the PTA meetings.” Lydia’s voice brings him back to the present, having momentarily forgotten she was there his attention so far out on the field. 

“Daddy and Papa are embarrassing, Aunt Lydia.” Damien pipes up before Stiles can even defend himself. 

“Et tu, Damien? ” 

Lydia’s smile is sharp as she turns it towards Stiles, absently reaching out for some of the cotton candy Damien is still picking at. “Yes, darling, that’s what I hear too.” Stiles mock gasps, snatching a large portion of the cotton candy away lest he be forced to share it again with such traitors. 

“I’ll have you know your parents are awesome, Bat Brat. And as for you, dear, sweet Aunt Lydia, you know nothing. It’s a conspiracy and we tired of being called up there for stuff that absolutely does not deserve a full meeting. I told them the next time it happened I was going to take it to the district and I meant it.” Lyida’s smile fades from her face as he talks, realization that the situation has been a lot more serious than she’d first perceived sinking in. 

“Stiles, I didn’t know it’d gotten that bad. I can get Jackson to make some calls…”

“No, no, it’s not that bad. Not yet, anyway. People simply don’t know how to mind their own business, Lyds. We knew moving back home in time for the kids to start school would probably dredge up some old hostilities but it’s nothing we can’t handle. It’s worth it being back, close to the pack again.” Damien’s somber eyes find Stiles in apology, their slight watering making Stiles regret being so frank in front of him. 

“Daddy, I was just kidding. You’re not embarrassing! We love you. I love you.” He crawls over Lydia to sit in Stiles lap despite being seven years old and probably much too big to do so. Stiles doesn’t care, hugs him close and blows a raspberry on his cheek anyway. 

“I know, Bat Brat! Don’t be sad! It will pass, things always do. Now look! You’re sister is almost done!” Stiles points out to the stage where he can see Derek staring at them with a frown on his face. Stiles just smiles and shakes his head, waving at Scarlett who was too focused on baking to notice anything amiss from a distance as she pulls her brownies from the oven. 

Only a few minutes later the judges are trying each of the four contestant’s baked goods and Stiles, Damien, and Lydia wait anxiously for the announcement of the results. Finally, there’s a person walking towards the mic stand with some sort of paper in her hands. On stage, Derek and Scarlett hold each other's hands and Stiles heart swells at how cute they look, so seriously awaiting the news. There are a few brief announcements about upcoming school functions and a thank you to everyone participating in the events of the day before they get to the bake off placings.

“In third place, Ashley and Helen Broom with the Angel Rainbow Cake.” Even from a distance, Stiles can see the smug grin Derek shoots at Helen, can only imagine how smarmy it must be up close. Helen, for her part, only stiffens in response, Ashley and Scarlett high fiving despite the obvious animosity between their parents. 

“In second place, Scarlett Hale with Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies.” Derek looks mildly taken aback but Scarlett pumps her fist in excitement, turning around and jumping into Derek’s arms before she’s down again hugging Ashley this time. Stiles had no idea Scarlett and Ashley were such good friends and apparently neither did Helen or Derek if their faces are anything to go by as they all watch their daughters jump up and down with each other.

“And finally, in first place, with his Red Velvet Cupcakes is David Greenburg!” Greenburg? Seriously? The man himself claps his son on the back as they move to receive their awards, his expression bright and proud. Still, Stiles and Lydia share a look before laughing for a full five minutes, Damien giggling along in pure confusion. Finally, when they have both wiped the tears from their eyes, they go to meet Derek and Scarlett out on the field. 

“Daddy! I got second place! Did you hear? Were you watching?” Scarlett runs at Stiles full speed and crashes into him before he swings her up, pressing kisses all over her face. “I did! I did! You were wonderful and brilliant and beautiful and divine, our very own baker extraordinaire. “ She laughs and rolls her eyes, but snuggles into his side anyway, happy at her victory despite not coming in first. Stiles makes a mental note to stop rolling his own eyes, unaware till now how much it’s rubbed off on his children. 

Back on stage, Stiles finally notices that his husband hasn’t actually come down yet. Instead, he and Helen seemed to have found themselves in another heated discussion and Stiles worries for the safety of the baked goods around them. For now, no one else seems to have noticed what’s going on but he hands Scarlett off to Lydia just in case he’s going to need to break up another potential fight. 

He’s at the stairs of the stage, taking two at a time, when Helen grabs a handful of the cake her daughter baked and throws it in Derek’s face. Gasps from all around go up in the air as people notice and the whole area freezes awaiting some response. Stiles himself is frozen and Derek is still just standing, white, rainbow cake dripping from his beautiful face when little David Greenburg takes a cupcake and chunks it right at Helen. His delighted laugh is the last single noise anyone hears before Ashley starts flinging peanut butter fudge brownies in every direction and all hell breaks loose. 

Stiles is still on the stairs, trying to duck flying food when twin war cries sound up behind him. Scarlett and Damien leap into the fray, fearless, heading straight towards the untouched ingredients no one has realized are still out in the open. Scarlett starts flinging leftover batter while Damien hoards the eggs, ducked behind one of the tables and only coming up when opportunity arises. Stiles has a moment to be proud before he’s being swept off his feet in a fireman’s carry back down the stairs and out towards the open field where those who don’t want to be covered in baked goods are lingering. 

He’s still fondling the ass on display from his position when Derek finally sets him down at a safe distance. Unlike Stiles, who made it out relatively unscathed, Derek is covered almost head to toe in food. Stiles, never one to miss an opportunity, takes a finger and wipes some of the cake falling from his beard. Derek’s eyes narrow when he puts the finger in his mouth, a wicked smile either side of it. 

“Dare I ask what you said worthy of almost a whole cake in your face?” he finally ventures. Over Derek’s shoulder, he can see the food fight starting to wind down and his two kids making their way off the stage, also covered head to toe in food. They spot Lydia before their parents and the red head is snatching off her heels in order to run before they reach her. They catch her in no time though and she’s laughing and yelling at them as they dodge her return attacks. 

“Nope,” comes Derek’s final answer. Stiles has only a second to look concerned, worried that maybe this has gotten out of hand while he wasn’t paying attention when he’s tackled from behind, sending him careening into his husband’s chest. 

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Stiles sighs, accepting that his luck of not getting covered in food has run out. 

“Really? I rather like it.” Derek smiles, snatching him back up bridal style and running from their twin hellions and hot headed aunt.

**Author's Note:**

> I never in a million years expected "Fight Me, Helen" to get such positive feedback but ya'll are the best. Thank you so much for liking it and I hope this little sequel is enjoyable as well. 
> 
> I read the hell out of kid fic but have never actually written any of it so this was quite the learning experience, I hope I did okay. I might be tempted to round it out with a third part if people are still interested, I definitely have an idea or two left. 
> 
> I'm still a pretty new writer overall and all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Come visit me on [ tumblr! ](http://www.witchspark.tumblr.com)


End file.
